found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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