Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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