it hurts more in the daytime
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
