he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
