you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
