I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
