I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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