Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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