Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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