we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
