Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
