Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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