Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
