The maid of honor just puked.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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