she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
