I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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