did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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