Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
