i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
