After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
