I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
