): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
