i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I am one with the molecules
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
