Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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