No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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