im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
