she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
