the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize