Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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