At least make sure they are 18
Why
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
