Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
