I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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