Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
There r osticjed everywhere
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
