also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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