I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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