I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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