So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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