he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we're making bets on your personal life
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
