what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
