I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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