Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm passing your future prison.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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