Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize