He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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