does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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