He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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