Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
