I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize