You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
