Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
