you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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