hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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