Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
