I wish I could teleport
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
