Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
