I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
