Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize