It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
my poor anus
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
