so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
