worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize