I accidentally had phone sex last night
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
