dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
