im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
