Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
