i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
