Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
